Pay Me Now Or Pay Me Later

I had an epiphany today.

I didn’t feel like doing much. I was tired, unfocused, and apathetic. I tried to get myself moving and nothing was working. It didn’t feel good. Objectively, I knew I needed to get my ass in gear, but just couldn’t find the drive to do it.

This left me feeling anxious. Knowing I had a shit ton of stuff to do, no drive to do it, and the time sensitive responsibilities were stacking up.

There were several calls, text, emails, and DM’s that I had left ignored and unopened.

I didn’t feel good.

The brain fog was thick and I found myself unable to focus. Knowing that not much was getting done today, I sat with my notebook and thought of what I could do to eliminate my brain fog and get back on track. I also thought of what I had done in the past to get out of a mental “rut’. I had been going excessively hard with my dieting and training protocol over the past three months, and had planned on taking the next few days off (as agreed to by my coach), so exercise was of no use to me this time. Typically it is my cure-all for everything.

So, what could I do this time to get my mind right?

First, I could hop in a sauna for a while. Crank it up to 200 plus degrees and sweat until I couldn’t stand it anymore. When I would get too hot, I would step out for a moment and pound some water, just to get back in. I would repeat this until I was at my absolute limit.

While in the sauna I could get a deep stretch. I could really work on my tight hamstrings and hip flexors that I had been torturing over the past several months.

After that I could take an ice bath. I would go to the gas station and buy three monster bags of ice and throw them in our new tub. I would soak in the mixture of water and ice until the pain was unbearable. I would get in and out for several rounds before tapping out, just as I had in the sauna.

Followed up with a fast that could last anywhere from 24–72 hours, only drinking water and black coffee. This was the hardest, but most rewarding of them all.

Mixed in with abstaining from sex and narcotics of any kind for a few days.

Surely by then I would be back on track! It had always worked like a charm any other time I found myself in need of some grounding.

As I planned my next few days out, I had an epiphany. What did all of the above mentioned actions all have in common?

They were all uncomfortable and a bit painful.

“We all must suffer one of two things; the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” — Jim Rohn

This caused me to reflect on the pain of making phone calls for my business when I didn’t want to, that led to me making a reasonable sum of money year after year. I also reflected on how brutal my dieting and training regime had been over the past three months but also how pleased I was with the progress of my physique as a result of the work. The juice was definitely worth the squeeze, just like the majority of hard work in relation to the results it produces.

So, it’s either the self controlled pain of uncomfortable, necessary actions that lead to a fulfilling life, or avoid those discomforts to find your future self in the pain of resentment, remorse, physical impairment, poor health, and perhaps a lack of self respect.

This is where men face their “mid life crisis”. The could haves and the should haves that are realized far too late.

Pick your poison.

As you feel good today in your apathy, drunkenness, and distraction, there is a large price to pay on the other end. There’s no free lunch. Pay me now or pay me later. What’s more painful; mastering yourself and your actions, or knowing you let yourself and the world down.

As unfortunate as it is, life will always be filled with pain and hardship. We live and we die. Some days it rains. Life isn’t meant to be comfortable. I believe that my generation was conditioned to believe that hardship was “bad”. If it is painful, avoid it! That we were all inherently special just from the breath in our lungs. We didn’t have to do anything to have value. However, the cruel reality of nature is that we are only rewarded for the work we do or don’t do. We reap as we sow. We are not victims to anything in this world other than our own bad ideas.

Pain is inevitable and essential to life. Without an adversary, there is no hero. It’s in our nature to overcome the pain and obstacles of life. It’s up to you, as captain of your ship, as to where you will get this pain.

If we are unable to master ourselves now because of our own self pity and indulgence, there will be a hefty price to pay in the future.

In contrast, if we are willing to suffer the self imposed trials of a warrior today, we can live like kings tomorrow.

We all have a price we will pay.

Pay me now or pay me later.

When will you pay?